Hope

I'm sit here on the computer, listening to my dad talk to my Uncle Doug. And i think to myself My dad is alive, and is so strong..

4 months i about lost the most amazing person in my life! I remember that day like it was yesterday! Walking down the CCU halls, seeing him just laying there... Hopeless.

December 3 was the worst day ever! The nurse coming to us, saying the doctor wanted to talk to his family!. Hand in hand we all walked down the LONG hall way. It seemed like the hall way was never going to end. I was hot and sick to my belly! I knew we were going to get news, i just didn't know what kind of news we were going to get. I remember looking up at the monitors, and seeing my dad heart rate was the fastest and his blood pressure was the lowest. I was scared! Finally we got to his room, room 18. Seeing my dad, i knew it wasn't going to be good news. I just new something was wrong..

Doctor came in and we stood around him. " I'm sorry but i don't have good news for you guys" Your dad is really sick and isn't doing good. We are doing everything medical, other then pumping his heart for him. His kidney are shutting down, his liver count it so high, his heart rate is so fast, and his blood pressure is so low, He has about a 10% chance to live. I'm so sorry, but you need to get your family here and if you have some type of religion please have them come.

 I remember my mom Dropping to her knees, screaming while going down. I remember the doctor saying get her a chair, get her a chair!! My mom fell to the ground and all of us just wrapped our arms around her. Crying, was all i could hear. My mom saying she cant lose her best friend, he just cant go! I remember not being able to cry. I felt like i had no tears left in me. I felt so horrible,cause i wasn't able to cry. The first thing out of my mouth was" my dad cant die, who is going to walk me down the aisle, how am i going to tell Connor?" This couldn't be happening..

I remember seeing my dad lay there as we gave him a blessing. Moving his head side to side. i knew he was struggling, and there was nothing i could do to help him! I was so hopeless. I never wanted to leave my dads side. I held his hand every time i was in there. He knew i was there each time cause i would talk and he would move his head towards me. He knew i was there. I remember that day i laid my head down on his arm and just fell asleep. I had a dream, that this was all a dream, and then i woke up and say it wasn't!

The doctors told us, as a family you need to let him know if you want us to do chest compression if he flat lined. We knew what he wanted, but we heading down to the hope chapel. My mom, Torie, Logan, Breanna, Barb, and I. Sat there and just prayed. And after i left the Hope Chapel, i felt GOOD. I had a feeling of this WILL be okay. I felt like no matter what happened I WOULD be okay. I felt the best i had felt in 24 hours. I knew we would be okay and my dad was going to be okay,no matter what happened.

After that each day got a little better, My dad got a little better, we got a little better!

And Look at us NOW..
 We are okay! We are here and living life to the fullest! My dad is here with me! He will be able to walk me down the aisle!

That day will be a day i will never forget. The way my dad look will always be in my head, how how much he was struggling, the way smelt, and the sounds in his room, i will never forget. As much as i want to forget i cant. The scream of my mom, and all the crying. But what else what i will remember is the HOPE, the FAITH, the BELIEVE, the GRACE OF GOD. That day i felt God was with us and was there for. That was the best feeling ever! I knew there was HOPE for us!

Now i sit here watching my dad WALK, on his own! See him bossing me around, and playing with Connor! Things like this i will never take for granted. My dad is amazing and i cant get over it! I'm so lucky to have my dad here with me! His voice is music to my ears..

I LOVE YOU DADDY, and thanks for fighting!