First of all. Is anyone else having a hard time uploading pictures???? I have been trying for a week now to load some pictures and it wont let me. BOOOO
My best friend is in TOWN.. Lets just say these last two weeks have been amazing. Its just like old times. 2 years without my best friend is like killing me.Im in love with her two little girls, and Connor loves them also. Its making me more baby hungry then i think i need to be. I dont ever want my Jennie to leave but now that she is on main land im sure i will see her morre!!!
I went to Wendover last weekend with my three best friends. Jennie, Jaquie and Sara. Lets just say it will be a weekend that ill never forget. Just having girl time is just what i have been needing.
We are finally starting wedding planning!!!! YAHOOO Tomorrow im going to look for a dress, Say what, YES im going to look for a dress. I cant wait. We are also going to look for the cake topper, and little things like that. 7 months away isnt very long at all. Im dying to get everything ready. I just know its going to get a little crazy. I cant believe im getting married!!!!!!
Logan started college last Monday! Back to school for 4 years.! Im so proud of him. I know that this will make it better for our family! We are so lucky to have him to support us!!
Connor is ready for the snow to be gone. Cause when the snow is gone he can finally play baseball. No joke now that he is 5 he thinks he can do anything. I cant wait to see my little man playing baseball just like his mom and dad! I want to teach him everything my dad taught me. Im pretty excited also!!!
I hope damn blogger will let me upload pictures soon cause i hate these post without pictures!!!!
Friday, January 18, 2013
Monday, January 7, 2013
Fighting
I haven't been to a doctors for a very long time and when i say very it mean FOREVER. I think 6 plus years. I'm not meaning Ob Doctor cause that was 2 years ago. I mean the other one. haha
So you get what I'm throwing down. Its been a really long time..
Over the past year i just haven't felt myself. My stomach hurt all the time, i had headache everyday and they would never go away, I started getting heart burn and i was just down in the dumps..
I have been having a really hard time with my dad. Yes i know that he is okay and healthy but what we went thought was life changing and i just haven't been able to wrap my head around that. Its been a year and i still can remember what i was feeling at that time.
When i was up at the hospital with my dad everyday for three months. I never once let him see me cry... reason why is cause i needed to be strong for my dad, he needed me the most and i wasn't about to let him know i was having a hard time with it. When he was at his lowest point i was his back bone letting him know things were going to be okay. I was the one cheering him on as he took his first steps. I need to be strong for him.
So i have never really let me feelings go, i haven't been able to coup with it, or grieve.
I have noticed that my emotions have been through the sky. I'm happy one minute and crying the next. I feel so bad for Logan cause he is getting the bad end of the stick. This is why i love him so much. Even at my worst and when I'm treating him like dirt he is still there loving me like no other!
Anyway, I went to the doctor thinking i was depressed..
Sure enough i am depressed. Its hard to really know that's what has been wrong with me. I know i have been thinking i have been, but to know that i am, is kinda a slap in the face.
I also have stuff wrong with my stomach, get BAD headache and cant sleep at night.
So that just means i have to be on 4 different medication to help that out and my depression.
I hate knowing that i have to be on meds to make me feel like ME again. He thinks i should be on it for a year and after a year he will see where i am and judge it off that.
He also asked me about work. I have been very stressed out over work and he say alot of my stress and depression is caused by that. GREAT..
So lets hope this helps, so i can start feeling like me again. I have been in this VERY dark place and I'm ready to be out of it..
So you get what I'm throwing down. Its been a really long time..
Over the past year i just haven't felt myself. My stomach hurt all the time, i had headache everyday and they would never go away, I started getting heart burn and i was just down in the dumps..
I have been having a really hard time with my dad. Yes i know that he is okay and healthy but what we went thought was life changing and i just haven't been able to wrap my head around that. Its been a year and i still can remember what i was feeling at that time.
When i was up at the hospital with my dad everyday for three months. I never once let him see me cry... reason why is cause i needed to be strong for my dad, he needed me the most and i wasn't about to let him know i was having a hard time with it. When he was at his lowest point i was his back bone letting him know things were going to be okay. I was the one cheering him on as he took his first steps. I need to be strong for him.
So i have never really let me feelings go, i haven't been able to coup with it, or grieve.
I have noticed that my emotions have been through the sky. I'm happy one minute and crying the next. I feel so bad for Logan cause he is getting the bad end of the stick. This is why i love him so much. Even at my worst and when I'm treating him like dirt he is still there loving me like no other!
Anyway, I went to the doctor thinking i was depressed..
Sure enough i am depressed. Its hard to really know that's what has been wrong with me. I know i have been thinking i have been, but to know that i am, is kinda a slap in the face.
I also have stuff wrong with my stomach, get BAD headache and cant sleep at night.
So that just means i have to be on 4 different medication to help that out and my depression.
I hate knowing that i have to be on meds to make me feel like ME again. He thinks i should be on it for a year and after a year he will see where i am and judge it off that.
He also asked me about work. I have been very stressed out over work and he say alot of my stress and depression is caused by that. GREAT..
So lets hope this helps, so i can start feeling like me again. I have been in this VERY dark place and I'm ready to be out of it..
Friday, January 4, 2013
New Year's Hope
I know that each yeah i try to write one of these. And each year i don't always go though with them..
So I'm not making any resolutions....Ill just write things down that i would LIKE to do. No promises just hope. :)
- I hope i can lose weight before the BIG day. 7 months to lose 25 pounds isn't very long. I need to get my big ol bum in gear1 Like Yesterday. Who is going to help me make this goal?????
-Spend more time with Logan and I. With the wedding coming up i think this is when we need to be more US. I want that one on one time.
-Making this wedding planning amazing! I hear it can and will be NUTS at times but this year is the time i want to remember as the best year of my life!!
-Don't sweat the small stuff. I have trouble with this. I'm always worrying about everything. So No more sweating the small stuff.
-Work on my depression... I went to the doctor yesterday thinking i was depressed. Well come to find out... I am. I also found out a few other things that are wrong with me, but it will get better in time. So i have to work on my health. This is the number 1 thing i have to work on. I have been in my darkest place and I'm ready to get out of it. Saying that was step 1..
-Enjoy work more. Work has been so stressful. I'm hoping this year will be less stressful and we can move on from the past.
- More time with Connor. The last year i feel like i haven't been the best mom to Connor. I need to make time to go up stairs and play with him and his toys. I need to get dressed up in his hulk and run around like there isn't a care in the world.
-Money. With just getting a house, and a wedding coming up, we need to work on the money.
-Make time for ME...I need to get out of the house more, hang out with friends, do things for myself, and just get back to the old me.
-Get my house to a HOME. I cant wait to get everything up and looking like our house. I have so many ideas and I'm dying to do them.
- Smile more
-Get pregnant...AFTER the wedding of Course
I'm ready to make 2013 MY YEAR. I cant wait to see what it holds for us. :-)
So I'm not making any resolutions....Ill just write things down that i would LIKE to do. No promises just hope. :)
- I hope i can lose weight before the BIG day. 7 months to lose 25 pounds isn't very long. I need to get my big ol bum in gear1 Like Yesterday. Who is going to help me make this goal?????
-Spend more time with Logan and I. With the wedding coming up i think this is when we need to be more US. I want that one on one time.
-Making this wedding planning amazing! I hear it can and will be NUTS at times but this year is the time i want to remember as the best year of my life!!
-Don't sweat the small stuff. I have trouble with this. I'm always worrying about everything. So No more sweating the small stuff.
-Work on my depression... I went to the doctor yesterday thinking i was depressed. Well come to find out... I am. I also found out a few other things that are wrong with me, but it will get better in time. So i have to work on my health. This is the number 1 thing i have to work on. I have been in my darkest place and I'm ready to get out of it. Saying that was step 1..
-Enjoy work more. Work has been so stressful. I'm hoping this year will be less stressful and we can move on from the past.
- More time with Connor. The last year i feel like i haven't been the best mom to Connor. I need to make time to go up stairs and play with him and his toys. I need to get dressed up in his hulk and run around like there isn't a care in the world.
-Money. With just getting a house, and a wedding coming up, we need to work on the money.
-Make time for ME...I need to get out of the house more, hang out with friends, do things for myself, and just get back to the old me.
-Get my house to a HOME. I cant wait to get everything up and looking like our house. I have so many ideas and I'm dying to do them.
- Smile more
-Get pregnant...AFTER the wedding of Course
I'm ready to make 2013 MY YEAR. I cant wait to see what it holds for us. :-)
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