Emotional Wreck

Ugh

I just really dislike days like today. Well its pretty much been all week. It just seems like everything i do or say turns complete around. I am an EMOTIONAL WRECK. I cry over everything and anything. I'm never like this, i normal can hold my self together in till I'm alone then i let lose.. But this week on the other hand I'm crying over the stupid TV shows, Like biggest loser we watched last night. They got videos from home and i bawled like a little baby and i have no clue why. I was watching Teen mom and started to cry, i felt so baby for Leah and her baby. Logan was telling me something today and i really couldn't remember him tilling me this before so i got mad at myself and started crying cause i felt so bad that i forgot that he told me once before.

I'm just really feeling like a big baby this week. Ya maybe I'm getting ready to have my period but I'm NEVER like this before my time. It just bugs me. I really feel like i could do so much better with raising Connor, or being a better Girlfriend, better friend, better sister, better daughter, just better everything. I feel like I'm letting everyone down with everything i do. I don't want to feel this way. I'm losing everything it seems like, I'm just losing my mind!! So I'm just hoping that i will stop being such a baby right now and get it together haha.

While i was in Idaho for Austin blessing, we went to church. There was this speaker that was talking about how everything you do as a parent your kids watch every move you make. And follows your every move. It really made me think that i need to be a better mom. I need to go to school to get a better job for me and my family. I need to stop eating as much as i do, i want us to be healthy, i need to stop fighting in front of Connor, he doesn't need to see that. I just need to be a better influences for my son. I love my son more then words can express, i just want best for him..

I just want this week over already. :)