Top 11 in 2011

So i saw this on my bfffff blog and i thought it would be good to write something on here. something new. So here i go my top 11 in 2011 :)

 

Park City!

This year was a blast cause both our family got together and was able to spend it as one big family! It was so nice

 

 

My 20th birthday!

I was able to spend it with my best friend and my adorable niece! 

My family Reunion!

Lets just say this year was a time i will never forget! It was a pretty wild one! :)

Kate Perry

This was the first concert i was able to go with my sisters, and this was the very first one for Alyssa! It was so much fun!

Connor First day of school!

This little man was so excited to start school and now he is the smartest little 4 year old i know. He loves school!

My family!

Knowing that we can make it thought anything really made my year amazing! We now know that we can do anything and do great at it!

Mya puppies

This was such an amazing thing to see. The puppies were the funnies to play with, and mya was such an great mommy!

Matching tattoos and belly

This night was a night ill never forget! us sister just hanging out and being 13 again was just the topping of a great year!

2 year anniversary

To have this man in my life for two years in just plain amazing right. Im truly lucky!

Connor 4th birthday

Even thought we spend it in the hospital it was still a good day. He is such a smart little man and to know 4 years ago i was holding this tiny little baby and know i have a wild 4 year old!

Taken my dad outside

This was my top in 2011! It was a big thing knowing that my dad could go outside and just be normal again! To see him smile and laugh was amazing! He is truly my hero!!!

Well those were my top in 2011!

This year has had it many ups and lots of downs. I know 2012 holds great things for my family and I! I cant wait to see whats next!

Hope you all have a great new years!

Bad dream!

Yesterdst was a really bad day for me. I was down all day and just not up for anything. After the weekend when my dad kinda went down hill again it just totally changed my mind on everything. I was thinking we were out of the woods and was thinking he was going to be home soon. I was wrong. Anything can change In a short time. And things could go bad to good back to bad in just a few seconds. I know that we will have days like this but I just want things to be perfect again. I want to be able to smile and really mean it. I mean there are time I smile cause I see how well my dad is doing and everything he will do. But there are also days I just can't even smile at all. I hate feeling so help less and like I. An never do anything. But really all my dad needs is us there and he needs to know no matter what happeneds we are behinds him 110%. I'm just tired of being so weak. I know sometimes I need to cry and let everything out, but I feel when I cry I'm not string for my dad. Last night I just broke down. I cried and cried for hours and just let's myself go. I'm scared,worried, pissed off at the world and just lost. I want things back to normal, I want my dad home and I want to not be stressed. I want this bad dream to be over!!!! My dad will be okay and be great, just going to be a long road but totally worth it all in the end!! I love you daddy so so much!

Update

So last Thursday dad went in for this second surgery for his left hand and to close up his right. It was such great news to know dad right arm was getting closed up. But on his left hand they told us that it would only be tips of his fingers but once they went in to surgery they would know more if he would lose more then tips. He went to surgery about 10 it was easy knowing he has coming out with more gone from him. But we knew that is was for the better and after this things would be looking up. About two hours later we got a call saying it was all over and the doctor would be out shortly to tell us how it all went. The right arm was able to close up really went but the left hand was a little harder. His thumb the only took off just vert little. It looks like they didn't take anything off. His pointer finger they took down to his first knuckle,his middle finger was completely taken off, his ringer finger was taken off down to his second knuckle, and his pinky was taken off to his finger nail. So all in all it was that bad I mean it was more then we thought but he will still have movement and be able to dress himself and do more on his own. Over the weekend the doctor wanted to see how well his kidneys would do on there own. Cause all week he was peeing quit a bit. They had high hope that they were doing better. It was only two days he wouldn't be on dialysis btu those two days totally changed everything. We took a big step back and my dad once again wasn't doing to good. His kidneys weren't flushing out the bad fluid, so the fluid were getting into his lungs again and making it hard to breath. It was like we were back into the ccu and things weren't going to get better. They put him on dialysis right away to try to get all the fluids out. It kinda worked. But every since my dad hasn't been the same. He is very confused on something's. There's times when he will be clear as a bell to not understanding things. He's very very tired. But his body , mind and spirit have been through hell. I know with time he will get better but until then we are just taken it day by day. My dad is a very strong man and there will be bad days but there will also be great days, it's just very hard to see him like this and it's sad to know he doesn't know what's going on. He just knows he was sick. Each day that passes he gets stronger as well as us as a family. I just can't wait Till the day he gets to come home and is able to walk and do everything like he used to. Your amazing daddy!!!!!! I love you