Friday Letter

My Best Friend over at Marti Bunch did this post and i thought it would be fun to do this every Friday. Great way to make me blog each week right. :)

Dear work... Please start being less stressful. You are really making it hard for me to like you.

Dear mind... When it hits 10:00pm, Please shut off cause i would like to start getting a good night rest, every night. I don't like having you on 24/7. ;)

Dear Mya... You really make mommy mad when you think you can dig out of the fence every time i let you out of the house. I'm sorry but i don't want to come home one day and find you on the side of the road.. I want to keep you around for a while longer..

Dear Wedding.... You are coming up so fast and i feel like i don't have enough time to get everything ready!!! But man oh man am i ready for that day to come! August 3rd.

Dear Weather.... Its April.. That means you can rain all you want but please NO more snow. I'm really ready for the hot sun!

Dear Connor... Thank you for always making me laugh and smile each day. I love coming home to your crazy self.

Dear Life.... Thanks for the little moments like this.. This is what I'm living for!

Dear Baseball Season.. I have been waiting for you for 5 years! Thank you for finally coming around. I cannot wait to see my min me play my favorite sport! I know Connor is a natural!

 Dear Logan... Thanks for always being my rock each and everyday. I know i can get a monster most days, and hate everything in my site, but you know just want to say to make everything much better! I love you and cant wait to be your wife!

Worn out

This year has been a hard year for me so far. With my health and emotions. I have been feeling tons of anxiety, depressed and just not feeling myself.

My job has been VERY VERY stressful. I don't know if its really worth being here anymore. Sometime i KNOW life would be so much better if i just up and quite. BUT I'm not that kind of person. I don't want to feel like i don't help with bring home the money and help support our growing family. I'm just so tired and worn out that its taken a HUGE toll on me!
Yes i would love to be a stay at home mom, most days i feel like that's the best thing for me right now. I just really need to sit down and talk about whats going on.
I hate feeling like this and most days it takes everything i have in me to not cry or get upset with Connor or Logan. I shouldn't have to live like that and its not fair for my family to have that feeling of "Is mom/ Chelby going to be okay today". I want to be OKAY everyday and i want Connor growing up knowing that i was the FUN mom and not the sad, upset mom.
I have been on pills for a while now but i don't think they are helping much! I know that it takes awhile to start making you feel like yourself again, but I'm So ready to feel normal!! I want to be able to smile and be happy.

I'm just so tired and worn out!!
Who knows maybe going to see someone is the next best thing for me to do.!

TRY

I say this so many times.

 But i want to be a better blogger, I sit most nights and think this would be good to blog about.

But by the time i get home from work,

 fix dinner,

clean dinner up,

 play outside with Connor,

 get him ready for bed

 and then get myself shower,

 I'm so tired that all i want to do it go to bed and relax. It seems like i never have time to do anything.

I just wish i had time to sit down and write what important things are going on in our life's. Cause right now its the most exciting. We bought a house,

 getting married,

 wedding planning,

 Connor starting Baseball and School.

I wish i could just think of what i want to write and it will write it on its own!! wouldn't that be the dream! LAZY i know, but i can dream right......

I will TRY to get back in the groove but i cant promise anything. But until then

Enjoy a sneak Peek of our engagements

My sweet big boy

Picture Overload!!

My wonderful friend does amazing photography and i have always wanted her to take Connor Pictures.

So finally i sat up a time and we got them done.

Connor was way shy at first but once he got used to her, he was none stop!!

I swear they are my favorite photo of him!!

Thank you Kendyl for doing them. You are Amazing

I cant believe my little tiny baby is all big and grown up. It makes me so sad to look at these pictures and to think he is so big and not so much my little baby anymore. He is starting kindergartner this year, started Baseball and is into GIRLS. :)

You always hear Cherise those first few years of their life's cause you will never get that back and you will always miss it.

Its true. These first 5 years have gone by so fast and i know the next 5 will go even faster.

Im SO lucky to be able to be his momma.

I love you Connor Mike!!!!!!

YOUR AMAZING CONNOR!!!!