Idol Part 8

Okay so really I'm not in the mood to do all this tonight... But I'm going to stick to it and do it!!! Haha

So here we go. :)

They were singing Carole King..

( i was like who the Hell is that lol )

Scotty Boy. ;)

"You've got a friend"

I'll be his friend anytime. I really liked how he started the song.

Like always he is AMAZING........ A-M-A-Z-I-N-G

I'm i the only one who thinks this. He melts my heart every time he gives that look. lol

Call me crazy but i think he has a really good chance at winning this whole thing!

Lauren

"Where you lead"

She was O.K this week.

I think she need to step it up..

James

" Will you still love me tomorrow"

I really like that he took it slow and changed up the whole JAMES show thing.

I like it.

Jacob

"Oh no not my baby"

Once again i didn't like it.

I thought he outfit looked like it was Carlton Banks off of Fresh Prince of Bel Air

anyone else agree with me. hahah

Haley

"Beautiful"

I love her!!! The more she signs the more i like her.

I thought she did better when she was singing with Casey but i really like her alot. :)

Casey

" Hi De Ho"

Umm I'm not sure if i liked his or not.

I mean it was okay.

He was going the creeper eyes again. lol

So bottom 3

Lauren

Haley

Jacob

With JACOB going home.

Sorry for the short and lame post.

Hope you all have a good night. :)

Who Says

Im VERY insecure with my body, and my looks.

I dont have any confidence, none at all.

But when i have someone tell me that i need to work out, its makes me self esteem go SOOO down. Its breaks me inside.

I know need to work out and get healthier but it kills me what people really think about me. Its hurts more then anything.

But I'm trying to bet more confidence, and trying not to be so insecure with myself, im trying to get better self esteem, but thats not helping me AT all.

But now i living by this song!! Who says

I wouldn't want to be anybody else.

I'm no beauty queen,

I'm just beautiful me!

I'm trying, really I'm trying.

Meet TEX

This is TEX.

Mya's boyfriend.

I'm hoping babies daddy!

Haha

Yes we are trying to have puppies!

And i cant wait!

Don't you think Mya and Tex look alot alike?

So we will have Tex here at our house till Sunday, so its almost a 100% sure that she will get pregnant! Yahoooo

Lets hope they get the goods done!

My little girl is going to be a Mommy ;)

I'm a freak i know lol

Idol Part 7

This week I'm going to do things a little different. Now that its getting down to the last few I'm just going to write about all of them and at the end pick who i think is going to go home.. We will see how this looks and if i don't like it, i wont do it next time haha..

(These aren't in order just an F.Y.I)

Idol Week 7

This week they did songs from the 21st Century...

Honestly i thought it was a pretty good night. Like always. This season i think everyone is great, and i can see each one of them going and making a record. That's just my thought. So yes i loved it last night. I also think that everyone puts on a performances like we are at there own show! Love that even more. :)

Anyways on to the good stuff now.

Stefano

(The Flirt)

"Closer" by Ne-Yo

Each week he keeps getting better and better! He pulled off a great performances, i love that he was dancing and getting involved with the crowed! His voice was great, and can i just say he looked HOT last night i never knew how big his muscle were.. ;)

Scotty

(Holding the Flute)

"Swingin" LeAnn Rimes

This week i really thought that he could of done better, maybe pick a better song. I think he played it safe this time. I love him but i think he need to step it up of next week!

Lauren

(The talker)

"Born to fly" Sara Evans

She has like pulled back so much. When we first saw her she was the best and i thought she is going to win this whole thing! But now I'm not sure how much more she will make it. She is holding back. I want her to come out and be who she was at the first! So last night was my least favorite performances.

James

(The screamer)

"Uprising" Muse

Okay i don't like James cause he reminds me of Adam Lambert from last season, and i hated him and the hole screaming thing. That's what James is and i don't like it. BUT ( a big but) last night i really like him. I love that he brought the band out when he started. I love that it feels like we are at a James Durbin show!

Jacob

( The Diva)

He is totally that.

"Dance with my father" Luther Vandross

Okay i know that Jacob is the DIVA, he need to stop crying every 5 seconds. But anyways i didn't like it one bit last night. I think that the hole gospel things isn't working anymore.

Haley.

( The Brat)

"Rolling in the Deep" Adele

LOVE LOVE her!! She was so good last night. I think she is taking over Lauren spot light, she is out showing her. I really liked it a lot.

Casey

(The Creep)

"Harder to breathe" Maroon 5

I love Casey, and i love that he kiss Jennifer Lopez. lol

I'm glad that he is coming back to himself. I think that he rocked it last night. :)

Soooo

BOTTOM 3

I'm really scared for Stefano and Haley cause they have been in the bottom sooo many times. I think people are just ready for them to leave. But I'm also scared for Lauren, this week she was not so good.

My picks are

Jacob

Stefano

and......

Lauren.

with Jacob going home!

Yep Jacob is my pick of who is going home. Lets hope that he goes home, but then we would see a river of tears. hahah ;) I'm just kidding.

Kaydence Katheryn ♥

We got a call Friday that my Cousin Eric was getting ready to have his baby girl!

Chelsea wasnt due till May 1, but for some reason the baby wasn't getting food from her momma. So if they would of kept her tell her due date the baby would of been really small and have to be in the ICU. So they took her in early and

Friday at 11:50 pm we welcomed

KAYDENCE KATHERYN HALL!

4lbs 8oz and 18in.

She is so tiny, and looks just like her Daddy!!

I cant wait to met her and finally hold her.

I'm so Happy for Eric and Chelsea!

Congrats!

Love you three :)

Daddy holding her world!!

Beautiful little girl!

Spring Break.

Breanna went up to Idaho for spring Break an to Baby sit Austin, when Breanna was getting packed Connor said "BEBE i want to go to Uncle Mikes house with you"

So we packed him and he went to Uncle Mikes house!!

So Connor gets a little Spring Break

So do i haha

I know he is having fun

Last night he called me CRYING. He wanted me soo bad but i think it was cause he was super tired and in the car for a long time.

But other then that he is having fun with his little cousin! Im so happy that they will be SUPER close!!

Miss you soo much Monkey!!!

Springggg Time

Thursday i thought it was prefect weather to go to the park!!!!

And you know take some pictures!

Its so funny cause i think Connor knows mommy loves to take pictures of him. Cause he would go somewhere and say "Mommy take my picture here, oh and here"

It was really cute so of course i had to take picture here and there!

I have one Handsome little boy!

I cross my heart

Last night while we were watching Scotty Sing this song Logan Looked over at me and says

"This is Our Wedding Song Babe"

When we say something to each other we are always saying Cross my Heart Babe. (We got it from the Movie Up Hehe)

So this song is prefect for us.

We Cross our heart Forever.

I think i got myself a keeper for sure. I love him so much!

Idol Part 6

Here i am again lol :P

So last night was my least favorite nights. Everyone did OK. I guess. Really i only had three favorite and normally i like everyone of them..

But what i liked about it is that everyone is different. Like we have Country, Pop, Heavy Metal, Gospel, Jazz, see a little of everything.. Before we would have pop, pop, pop, maybe country. So this is why i love this season the most this year!! Yahooo :)

Anyways last night they did songs from Movies..

____Likes______

Stefano.

" End of the Road" By Boyz Two Men

I LOVED it.

I thought it was he best this whole season!

And after last week i thought he needed this.

I felt so bad for him last week when Pia went home he was crying. :(

But he did soooo good this week, loved it

Scotty.

Who would of guessed huh

"I Cross My Heart" George Strait.

i really think that he is going to be here till the End

Everyone was thinking he is a one mad show. But hey that who he is Country Boy, and he rocks it every dang time.

Yes i LOVED him oh so much. :)

Lauren

" The Climb" Miley Cyrus.

I think she did better then Miley. I loved that she put a little twist on it.

And i think she is the one that will be getting Pia votes :)

_____Bottom 3_______

Haley

"Call Me" Blondie

I love her but i think this wasn't the best she has done.

I think she will be in the bottom but i think she will be safe.

I hope

I CAN'T believe I'm saying this

Paul.

"Old time and Roll" Bob Seger

I'm really scared for My Paul this week. I thought he did great but that's just me! I think people are getting tired of him. I'M NOT!

He better stay that's all I'm saying.

Jacob

"Bridge Over Troubled Water" Simon & Garfunkel

Okay at first i thought he was really good and i could see him going till the end but now that Ive seen him more he boars me, like really bad. When he comes on i was to fast forward through the whole thing.

I just don't see him making it farther then now.

So i think he will be going home this week.

This was a hard one to pick cause i want Jacob to go home but I'm REALLY scared for Paul. :)

Going to be a crazy night that's for sure.

Abby Rike :)

So im a huge fan of THIS show!!!

Yes i'm that fan that watches the show and eats a piece of pizza haha

But i still love it :)

Last night we had our yearly Health Woman Expo.

I was finally able to go

(It always fall on Tuesday or Thursday and i work last those days)

I was really excited this year cause Abby Rike from the Biggest Loser Season 8 was coming to speak to us!

In 2006 she Lost her Husband, 5 year old Daughter and 2 week old Son in a Tragedy head on car accident. She is such a strong and amazing woman.

When she was on the biggest loser he weighted 247 and at the end of the show she lost 100 pound!!!

Here are her before and after pictures.

It was just so amazing what she talked to us about.

" Even at your darkest hours, there is ALWAYS hope"

So at the end of the show I had to get a picture with her. I loved her on the show and i love her still she is just so cute and fun to talk to!

I look up to her for everything she has done and everything she has been through!

I look HUGE compare to her haha

Your Choice.

Well over the last week i have been ugh. lol

I'm not really sure why I'm like this or why I'm feeling like this

Maybe its because i know whats going to go on and that i REALLY need to get this done for Connor.

Tuesday we got a call at work from Loretta (Travis Mom), she asked about obituaries information.

I got nervous right away, i haven't seen her in two year and i knew she would be coming in to put this obit it. I felt really bad cause i knew the person who had died in her family.

I didn't know how she was going to act, if she would ask about Connor, if she would be mad over everything, if she would act like nothing had happen, I was scared. Literally, i was shaking in my pants.

Tuesday went on like normal. She didn't come in till Wednesday afternoon, when she walked in i was OK. She never once asked about Connor not once. I was okay with that cause really i don't want them in our lives but i thought maybe she would remember who he was and what she had done. I know that she was her to put an obit in for a loved one, so i shouldn't be jumping to anything. Thursday she came back in to do programs for the viewing, we did them had them all done, i knew i would see her once more. This whole time she never asked about Connor, so i thought she wont this time either. I was wrong, she came and gave me a hug. Held me so tight, it was like she was never going to let me go. As she was hugging me she told me "Please give my grandson a hug and tell him his grandma she loves him very much" I was like WHAT!!!! Yes i know that really he is her grandson and she is his grandma, BUT in my eyes she will NEVER be his grandma. I know I'm really rude but are you kidding me.???

She was there for me from day one with me being pregnant she was there for me when Travis left me. After that i didn't want Travis in my life, but i told Loretta "We would still love you in Connor life, even if Travis isn't there. You were always there for me when Travis wasn't, You can choose if you want to be apart of his life cause we would like you to be" I told her this and guess what she did.... picked not to be in his life. Her choice.

So after she said that to me i was like no, no way did you just tell me to give YOUR grandson a hug. Sorry but there was no chance that i was going to do that. You picked that you didn't want him in your life so i don't think you have the right to call him your grandson. Sorry but he isn't. ( I didn't say any of this to her, I'm not that rude) But this is how i was feeling inside. I was mad. and i have the right to be.

IN the 3 years of Connor life, he has maybe seen her 5 times. MAYBE. Connor will never know who she is cause she picked not to be in his life. Connor is already going to have a hard life when he finds out that his "Dad" didn't want anything to do with him. It kills me to know that Connor is always going to be thinking bad things. Connor is going to grow up knowing Logan as Dad, Barb and Scott as Grandma and Grandpa, and Chad as Uncle Chad. He has this family who loves him with everything they have and would give him the world in a heart beat! Its just breaks my heart that Someone didn't want to have my son in their life. BREAKS my heart, how could you not want this adorable little boy.

SOOO......

After seeing her i have been able to think A LOT this weekend about what i am going to do with them.

This week I'm going to get the paper and a lawyer, its time to have Travis sign ALL of his rights over. I don't even know if he has any right cause his name isn't on the birth certificate (best thing i have ever done) but its time to get the ALL the way out of our lives. I just hope its goes the way i want it to go. Its going to be a hard few weeks till i get this done but worth it all in the end.

I love Connor with all my heart and I'm trying to do what is best for him. I just hope it don't bite me in the ass at the end of all this. I hope Connor wont hate me when he is older, i have all these fears but i think it is the right thing to do.

Maybe I'm over reacting but this is mine and my son life and i want what is best for us.

Idol part 5

Idol again. I hope who ever is reading this isn't thinking this is totally lame.

If so ..... OH WELL haha

I like doing it.

Anyways, last night was all about Rock and Roll.

Lets just say i like everyone, i didn't think anyone did bad. There was some i thought did lots better then other but over all everyone did great!!

_____LOVES______

Paul...

Johnny Cash " Folsome Prison Blues"

Lets just say he rocked the stage!!!

Saved the best for last. Really he was the best of the whole night hands down!

I loved that he got everyone into it and he rocked it!!!

Scotty..

Elvis Presley " That's All Right"

Duh i loved him.

No question asked i thought he did great!!

____Bottom 3________

This week was really hard who i thought would be in the bottom. But this is what i came to..

Jacob.

Michael Jakson's "Man in the Mirror

Don't get me wrong he did really good but i think he will be in the bottom.

He will be safe but he will be number 3.

Haley

Janis Joplin " Pieces Of My Heart"

Liked it a lot, but this time i think that he almost put TO much ruff in her voice.

So bottom as well

Stefano

Percy Sledge's " When A Man Loves A Woman"

Right now he is my least favorite. I like him but last night

But when i was thinking oh we only have one left, and really we had two left. I had totally forgot about Stefano.. oops

So my thought i think he will be going home this week. :(

She came to me. ♥

My grandma came to me last night..

For the last 3 night i have been having dreams that

i was pregnant.. ( I'm not pregnant)

Everyone has been leading up to me having the baby

1st night it was just the start of labor.

2nd night i was getting the wonderful medicine called Epidural.

3rd night i was pushing the baby out. I looked over to my right side and there stood my beautiful grandma. Once i saw her i stared to cry like a baby. She told me "push Chelbs you can do this I'm here for you!" Best word i could ever hear. The next thing i knew she was gone and i woke up.

I really think it was just a re-caps of when i had Connor cause it was like i was re-living it again. So now i know my grandma was there when i brought my wonderful son into this world. She was making sure that Connor got to my arms safe and sound. I knew that while i was pregnant my grandma was taking care of him tell she knew i was ready for him.

All the stupid things i did while i was pregnant, i know that my grandma was holding him so tight that nothing would happen to him.

THANK YOU SO MUCH GRANDMA!

I miss you more then anything, and i think about you all the time. I know your here with me :)

(Not a very good picture, but i love it.)

I found this poem and i just fell in love with it!!

hope you like it.

You can shed tears that she is gone

or you can smile because she has lived.

You can close your eyes and pray that

she'll come back

or you can open your eyes and see all

she's left.

Your heart can be empty because you

can't see her

or you can be full of the love you shared.

You can turn back on tomorrow and

live yesterday

or you can be happy for tomorrow

because of yesterday.

You can remember her and only that

she's gone

or you can cherish her memory and let it

live on.

You can cry and close your mind,

be empty and turn your back

or you can do what she'd want:

smile, open your eyes, love and go on!

Little me

So i was looking at old pictures a few days ago and i came across this one of

me when i was a little baby!!

Cute wasn't I.

As i was looking at it i swear that it was Connor. So i had to look and look for this picture of Connor and i found it at work. (Remember i lost all my pictures)

Tell me what you think.

Do we look alike at all??

I think so.

Adorable right?

10 Days in one

Okay so really I'm board of this whole 30 truthful days. I just cant really think of much to write, so my post are like 2 lines and i hate that haha.. I'm like you Kendyl :) So lets see if i can do 10 days all at once.. UGH

20. your views on drug and alcohol.

HATE drugs, i think it really messes up people lives, same with alcohol.

My dad side of the family dose both and it has done something to them that i really hate..

Alcohol, you know if you have to under control its okay. Like me a drink here and there that is totally fine, but more then that i don't like. But really im not a big time drinker, i cant find a drink that i like.

21. (scenario) your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before, what do you do?

I would freak and feel so bad. What if she died, the last thing i would leave with her was us fighting. But i would go right to the hospital that she was at and stay with her the whole time.

22. Something you wish you hadnt done in your life

I look at it that everything happens for a reason, and everything i have done has made me who i am today. :)

23. Something you wish you had done in your life

Everything, i want to try everything, push myself to do thing i normal wouldn't do..

24. Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs.

umm I'll pass on this one. I cant thing of anything right now so maybe ill do it last on haha.

25. The reason you believe you are still alive today

Connor. Hands down!!

If it wasn't for him my life would be totally different. I'm alive cause of him.

26. Have you ever thought about giving up on life? if so, when and why?

I think everyone has the stage, cause i know i did, before i had Connor i thought my life was falling apart. I didn't know what i was doing or why i was doing it.

27. What the best thing going for you right now

Everything really. Work is great, Connor is wonderful, and Logan and i are at the best right now. I don't think i could be any happier with my life right now.

28. What if you were pregnant what would you do?

I would sooo happy! Yes i still live with my parent and I'm not married, but there is no way that i wouldn't be happy! I have so much love for Connor i just know i would have the same for my next! I cant wait till that day!!

29. Something you hope to change about yourself, and why?

Weight. like always.

I always say this, but I'm sooo hard headed. no clue why but heck i would love to clam that down a little lol. :)

30. A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself.

I'll have to get back to this one. Its one i really have to think about this one.

Day Veinte ♥

what do you think of religion? or politics

I have my own thought and own words.

I believe in God and everything to do with god.

Day Dieciocho ♥

Your views on gay marriage

Really?

I've had a few friends that are. and really i love them just the same.

The way i look at it is, if your happy I'M happy for you. I don't see the wrong in this at all.

In the end i want everyone to fall in love and fell loved. So if it is with a girl, or a boy it don't matter at all.. :)

Im totally supported with it.

Day Diecisiete ♥

a book you've read that changed your views on something

I always knew that they are abuse out in the world when i read this

but its just broke my heart when i knew it was about child.. your own child..

How would you be able to do that to your child. Everyday when i look at Connor i fall more in love with him. I don't see why someone wouldn't fall in love with them.

Yea there are some tuff times with being a parent, but all those great times with them makes all the bad times go away.

After reading this book, it really makes me wanna try and help kids that get abuse. I don't know what i could do or what i would do but i could help someone life.. :)

Lauren & Scotty "I Told You So"

You all know by now im

IN LOVE with these two!!!

I was so happy American idol did this.

They were so great doing a song together. I even think they would be a cute couple..

Make sure to pause my music down below you have to listen to them!!!

Oh I was SOO right of who was going home last night

GO ME!!!